“Hi my name’s Herschel and I’m an alcoholic”…(Hi Herschel group replies)….
“Wow…so yeah…I guess I’ve known I had a problem for a while now…..I’ve lost friends, women…money…….even the ability to urinate in a straight line…..due to a drunken ‘Prince Albert’…… but I really knew something had to change when the police arrested me trying to assassinate Shannon Noll….I haven’t had a single drink since that fateful day…but I still intend to kill the cocksucker”…..(group goes quiet)….
Well friends, that pretty much sums me up – 31 years old, and about to embark on my longest stretch of sobriety in 18 years…..365 days alcohol free….Fuck this is going to hurt!
Why am I doing this you ask? The answer is simple – Control. I honestly feel I have become a slave to my drinking, and whilst I find the term ‘Alcoholic’ an extremely unattractive description of my current state of affairs…..it’s probably relatively accurate.
I guess this blog is my way of maintaining accountability for the decision to change….and even on some kind of base level, an attempt to understand how I ended up on this slippery fucking slope in the first place? And in some ways, I also think of it as an apology….a concerted effort made to…well….not really ‘right the wrongs’….but to at least have a bash at not fucking up anymore ( I can’t promise anything though – even without the drink I can be a right prick!). I guess the principle is the same as AA meetings really….just without the religious connotations, free coffee and biscuits. And no I will NOT hold your hand as we stand in a circle whispering the serenity prayer! Serenity now bitches!
This blog will therefore be my kind of ‘offbeat’ chronological record, of the soberest (and potentially most boring) year of my life to date….you know…a kind of ‘Dear Diary’ scenario…..except anyone can read it…and it will have pictures and music and shit too – Cool!
I plan to post everyday as a way of keeping myself honest – plus I will attempt to give you (the reader) an insight into the inner working of what numerous mental health professionals have referred to as ‘my troubled mind’. I shall attempt to achieve this through the mediums of music and abstract photography. Lets dance!
See you tomorrow?